thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
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