Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
