Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
