you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
