good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
