I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
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