I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
