try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
