Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (206): Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry. http://tfl.nu/kkw8
  Replies (7) Good night (3884) Bad night (782)
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (201): She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am http://tfl.nu/vk3v
  Replies (20) Good night (4139) Bad night (898)
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (541): She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets... http://tfl.nu/jeys
  Replies (28) Good night (6896) Bad night (1871)
• Favorite

  (613): View more from Ontario

  She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (613): She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo" http://tfl.nu/ucwd
  Replies (8) Good night (3257) Bad night (935)
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (773): Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night. http://tfl.nu/t8p9
  Replies (6) Good night (3085) Bad night (1699)
• Favorite

  (229): View more from Georgia

  They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (229): They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME http://tfl.nu/jm4f
  Replies (5) Good night (1280) Bad night (2231)
• Favorite

  (865): View more from Tennessee

  What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (865): What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"? http://tfl.nu/h7i9
  Replies (11) Good night (2452) Bad night (1819)
• Favorite

  (601): View more from Mississippi

  answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (601): answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell http://tfl.nu/66yz
  Replies (3) Good night (2013) Bad night (1348)
• Favorite

  (+61): View more from Australia

  A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+61): A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul. http://tfl.nu/nbi1
  Replies (5) Good night (1935) Bad night (524)
• Favorite

  (318): View more from Louisiana

  After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.

  (1-318): View more from Louisiana

  Stop giving me tequila.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (318): After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do. (1-318): Stop giving me tequila. http://tfl.nu/y3ru
  Replies (6) Good night (2264) Bad night (636)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  possibly by boat

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (610): he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him (610): possibly by boat http://tfl.nu/q00b
  Replies (3) Good night (1112) Bad night (455)
• Favorite

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (615): Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers... http://tfl.nu/ugq8
  Replies (5) Good night (726) Bad night (390)
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (815): Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down. http://tfl.nu/94ky
  Replies (5) Good night (830) Bad night (378)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile

  (1-570): View more from Pennsylvania

  FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (570): Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile (1-570): FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile http://tfl.nu/2z1a
  Replies (0) Good night (1019) Bad night (309)
• Favorite

  (906): View more from Michigan

  Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (906): Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle. http://tfl.nu/e62g
  Replies (0) Good night (555) Bad night (252)

Randomize