More tranny stories later!
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
He had some BAD nuttage
It's like cleavage......... but different
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
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Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
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She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.