Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(305): View more from Florida

Can I come over?

(786): View more from Florida

Can't... I'm at class right now.

(305): View more from Florida

No your not

(305): View more from Florida

I'm outside by your car.

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(305): Can I come over? (786): Can't... I'm at class right now. (305): No your not (305): I'm outside by your car. http://tfl.nu/le7d

Replies (21) Good night (882) Bad night (2177)
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(914): View more from New York

im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl

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(914): im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl http://tfl.nu/i1d7

Replies (15) Good night (1001) Bad night (5119)
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(402): View more from Nebraska

Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.

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(402): Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall. http://tfl.nu/z0q7

Replies (9) Good night (4417) Bad night (932)
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(707): View more from California

there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.

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(707): there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced. http://tfl.nu/voth

Replies (28) Good night (1394) Bad night (5423)
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(831): View more from California

The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.

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(831): The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half. http://tfl.nu/bj5u

Replies (1) Good night (1926) Bad night (1279)
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(541): View more from Oregon

Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.

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(541): Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk. http://tfl.nu/effc

Replies (6) Good night (1104) Bad night (669)
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(916): View more from California

I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.

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(916): I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it. http://tfl.nu/ir5l

Replies (4) Good night (1323) Bad night (601)
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(280): View more from

So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.

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(280): So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on. http://tfl.nu/vkfv

Replies (12) Good night (2280) Bad night (577)
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(425): View more from Washington

You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.

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(425): You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality. http://tfl.nu/6xy0

Replies (6) Good night (1263) Bad night (614)
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(813): View more from Florida

My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.

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(813): My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester. http://tfl.nu/4ngv

Replies (1) Good night (1197) Bad night (369)
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(443): View more from Maryland

Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.

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(443): Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her. http://tfl.nu/t8u7

Replies (0) Good night (609) Bad night (489)
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(956): View more from Texas

Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?

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(956): Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch? http://tfl.nu/v3f3

Replies (3) Good night (663) Bad night (381)
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(775): View more from Nevada

I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.

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(775): I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice. http://tfl.nu/qaps

Replies (1) Good night (989) Bad night (310)
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(773): View more from Illinois

well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start

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(773): well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start http://tfl.nu/6z20

Replies (1) Good night (300) Bad night (689)
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(847): View more from Illinois

Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.

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(847): Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad. http://tfl.nu/8ycx

Replies (2) Good night (190) Bad night (460)

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