Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
then he tried to convert me to islam
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...