Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(845): View more from New York

puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.

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(850): View more from Florida

At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?

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(860): View more from Connecticut

just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack

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21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
Read it at the TFLN blog
(781): View more from Massachusetts

So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay

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(312): View more from Illinois

I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.

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(904): View more from Florida

I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.

(508): View more from Massachusetts

Gonna be tough to beat that next year!

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(864): View more from South Carolina

I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.

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