just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
