His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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