it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
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just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
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Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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