whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
lets start a swedish sibling band together
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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