My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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