Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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