I can tuck mytits in my pants
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
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