Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Randomize
