I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Dick very happy bro
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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