I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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