put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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