I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
