apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
