There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
