I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.