I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
