Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
