the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
