You don't have asthma, your pregnant
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize