Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
