white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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