Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
