try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
