I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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