Sry I called you an 8
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
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