idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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