There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
