According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
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