Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize