i may or may not be watching the land before time
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Randomize
