Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Randomize
