Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I just forgot I was standing up.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Randomize
