Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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