just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
