It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
