were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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