I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
