people are starting to question the shark bite story
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
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