we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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