More tranny stories later!
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
