New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Randomize
