Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
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DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
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It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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