Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
