too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
