Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Randomize
