dude i'm inner monologue high
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
