no, he came in my armpit
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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